To be honest I’m quite disappointed in my last blog. It’s so…regular mom. It’s cliche, cheesy and just like so many other blogs about a regular day. I’m sure I lost some readers or disappointed my regular followers (all two of you! What’s up with that people?) I thought about how I could alter it, and, I had to all but tie my hands up not to do my usual “emotional delete.” Shout out to a friend of mine E, for naming my habitual deleting skills. Instead, I vowed to be an honest blogger. Not one that writes to an audience with a specific goal of popularity. Instead, one that writes from the heart and is hopeful that her writing will touch others who feel similarly or have shared experiences.
So here goes…
How many of you Facebook? Is it just me or is Facebook truly an addiction? Does anyone else think that Facebook Addicts Anonymous is only a glimpse away? Well, I do. I am addicted and I seriously (to quote Sofia The First) think it’s both a “blessing and a curse.” That’s why “I’m taking a break from FB” frequents our wall feed.
Facebook allows us to stay in touch with friends we haven’t seen in years. Those who’ve moved away or those we can’t see often. It allows us to “talk” with those “friends” we may be nervous or shy to approach in reality. We can message instantly, form groups, causes and can “follow” one another’s life as publicly or privately as we/they choose. Specifically Facebook is a blessing for me in that I get to see and keep in touch with my family and friends from Scotland and Canada. I also get to live vicariously through old friends travels and see words of encouragement from families who have gone through battles with Epilepsy and have overcome their diagnostic outcome for a better future. Oh and I love to share pictures of my cuties… Bee and Bug because I might still have some serious mom pudge going on but dang it I have seriously cute kids… Ya heard😜
Okay focusing again… Where was I? Oh…
Facebook can make you incredibly self- conscious. Ever see a picture of your “friends” all out at a bar, a winery, a movie, anything… And think “hmmmmm, why wasn’t invited?” How about when you attend something and the host writes a status update to “thank” everyone for coming yet your name isn’t listed in the tags. After a disastrous social event you’re publicly shamed, I mean they don’t use your name but you and everyone else knows you’re the pink elephant. When you’ve been trying to get pregnant for years and you see pregnancy announcement, after announcement, after announcement. Or how about when you post something and people have “seen” it but haven’t responded? Or when a friend of yours says “are you going to…” and you realize you weren’t invited.
Doesn’t it sometimes just feel like too much? Don’t you often doubt your feelings? Ever felt like, that’s weird I wasn’t invited,I thought we were friends. Or, ever had a friend tell you that not everyone could go? I’d like to publicly call bullshit on the last one. If you’re a true friend, you’re getting invited and if there’s a limited number who can come, someone else better be getting their arse bumped, because you’ll be going. That’s the way I think, and I know others do too. I used to think I had to be all PC, all “oh it’s alright”, “no worries”, “next time.” But I’ve come to realization that people are what they do. I mean seriously, actions ALWAYS speak louder than words and in that case I’m not ashamed to admit I have very few true friends. I’m pleased. I choose to surround myself with those I care for. And, those that I do have, that are genuine people and sincere friends will tell you that I’m an incredibly loyal one. As an adult, I can now say that I’d rather have few amazing friends than hundreds of masked “friendships.” True friendship is not fearing the reality, the joy, the triumphs, the hardships, the ups and downs that is life.
The friendships I’ve made alone just from being a mother have been irreplaceable for me.
Bottom line…Facebook can and will make you self-conscious at some point. Possible side effects include a case of paranoia. Additional sources of such symptoms include; Instagram, Twitter, you name it, if it’s social media it’s there as a positive force in your life but I’m a firm believer in the belief that it may all be taking life and communication in general a step too far.
We’ve become a society of texters. Out of my friendship group I can count maybe five that pick up the phone and call. Texting is… So convenient, I get that. But, ever sat at a table and everyone around you was texting? Ever been on a date and looked over and saw a guy or girl sitting across from one another on their phones? I can’t count how many people I see driving and texting or talking on the phone while I’m people watching in the passenger seat. Now as if society hadn’t become completely deterrent to the art of verbal communication we’ve invented a new “selfie stick.” I frequent Disneyland, and the last few times I’ve been there, I’ve seen the funniest thing. Two young beautiful girls, a cute couple, a family, a group of tourists, you name, it all shapes, sizes and colors holding out this long two-four feet stick with a camera of sorts attached to the end and posing behind it. At first, I giggled. I told my sister about it and she said “oh that’s a Go- Pro.” Of course I had no idea what that was either as I live in a mommy cave but was happy for the information. Well turns out, (my sister later found out) that I was actually right. This is just a stick. It’s a stick that you use to take your own picture because heaven forbid we actually ASK another human to take one for us. That would involve verbal communication and for some reason that’s become unpopular. So to recap, we text, email, snap selfies and now even take group shots with a darn “selfie stick!”
After this experience I’ve realized why both my mum and dad seem mad when I’m on my phone. My dads usual “would you like me to get a chain for that.” Or my mums simple stare that says “get off your phone!” There’s two sides to this. One is well crap, EVERYTHING I do is dependent on my phone, scheduling, emails, school, friends, volleyball, doctors… You name it. I mean think for a second. What can you actually accomplish without your smart phone? Anyone seen a phone booth lately? The other side is that when I’m with my mum or dad that’s the only safe time I have to be on my phone because generally I’m preventing Bee from climbing out a window or Bug from picking up something she shouldn’t have. Being a mom, well a good one, offers us only limited times to access “real world” communication.
Naturally, as a friend pointed out earlier, I too realize the irony in writing this blog in general and posting it on Facebook but for me, Facebook is like men. Well, like my one man. We have both a love, and a hate relationship 😉