If you look around today you’ll notice the latest trends for diets. Whether it be shakes, clean eating, paleo, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, CrossFit or Cardio Barre you name it, fitness or food there’s something or someone ready to guide you to “success.”
I’ve officially decided I’m done with the extra pudge I’m carrying and I’m publicly vowing to lose 40lbs. I’ve lost 48 since babies birth (10 months ago today) and like I’ve mentioned before she didn’t weigh 48lbs at birth but she did weight 9lbs 6ounces almost three weeks before her due date. So needless to say she was and is a big girl😊
Regardless, the extra weight must go. I’ve gone back and forth on what’s best for me and how I can best lose this next forty pounds that’s pretty much been with me for the last 6 years. After much thought I’ve decided that the route I need to take, is my own. I started to think about it all. You know paying for help is nice and all but it’s not a luxury I can afford and I do love me some food (insert problem here) so I need to take charge of myself. 17 years ago today (holy crap that’s a long time ago) I was one of the top recruited juniors in high school. I had 48 Division One full scholarship offers from schools like Seton Hall, Villanova, North Carolina, Purdue, Dartmouth, UCI, UCR, Clemson… The list goes on and I chose the closest to home to be with the love of my life (aka my husband…more about that choice another time) but nevertheless I was a highly sought after athlete and I was in impeccable shape. I could squat two plates on each side of the bar (a plate is 45 lbs for all you new to the lifting world), I could bench a quarter on each side (95lbs), run a mile in 6, do 50 push-ups and 50 sit-ups in 60 seconds and I had a 10ft touch jump. Needless to say, I was a stud. My nickname was Bear. Now I just look like a Bear😕
Along the way I’ve tried a few of the above choices, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and even “stroller strides.” And let’s just say that stroller strides was a humbling experience for me.🙈 No offense to the stroller striders because there are definitely some stud mamas in those crews. But paying someone to basically tell you to move your lazy butt, and do various “mom” exercises $70 a month is just ridiculous (cue the haters).
Rather than feel sorry for myself I’m choosing to change. I’m publicly stating that come Summer this weight will be gone. That’s a grand goal I know but I’m a grand kinda gal. That’s not an ego, well maybe… But I see it as more my old confidence.
You see I’ve been beaten down these past years. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t good enough. I thought that people wondered why Johnathan loved me. There are smaller, skinnier, blonder girls out there why did he love me. I hated how “big” I was. I hated my nickname Big Al. Who would like that? I mean come on. Nothing says sexy like Big Al. I hated that summer clothes didn’t fit me regardless of how hard I worked out. I hated when I worked out four hours a day I still couldn’t wear less than a size 10. I hated that I had size 11 feet. I hated being in the back row of all school pictures with every damn boy in my grade. I hated that they had me walk in graduations with the shortest boy in my class. I hated that my high school team bullied the shit out of me and made me feel like it was my fault for being far superior than them on the court. I hated that being bigger always made me feel awkward and never like I fit in.
I didn’t fit in until I met my Thunder team. They called me “Bear”. They treated me nicely and they respected my crazy competitive nature. I still keep in touch with many of these teammates from years ago.
I didn’t fit in until my now husband made me realize that I was beautiful. Made me feel love I had never felt before.
I didn’t fit in until I had my baby girls. My girls made and make me feel beautiful. They are my glory and my pride. I feel amazing knowing I made them.
Even now at 33 my body is SO much worse than it was 17 years ago but I feel more confident than I did then. I know who I am. Now that I know who I am. I know what I want to be. I want to look the way I feel. Confident, strong and brave.
From this moment on I’ll be heeding my own advice. I succeeded at a younger age physically by myself and with the help of myself. I can and will do it again.
This weekend we started out on a family hike. Here’s my official “before pic.”
Here’s me and my beautiful girls hiking back through Wildwood. I love teaching them young the enjoyment in working hard and peace in our natural surroundings.
And here’s Bee, up to no bloody good as usual!