I recently saw a super cute video of a mom trying frantically to clean her home, and every thing she did was quickly reversed by a super cute “assistant.” I have two of these super cute assistants now myself, but one, Miss Ailbe is in a whole other stratosphere when it comes to mess!
When I first watched the video I found myself thinking, “crap, that’s how I’ve looked myself.” As funny as this is, I felt badly for the baby. I saw a tired, frustrated mom, and a baby just looking to discover and gain attention. Of course, moms need to clean their homes, it does actually have to happen, I know and understand that fact of life. But, I’m changing my philosophy. I’m sure my friends can attest to having heard me greet them with “I’m sorry the house is such a mess,” when they arrive for a playdate and generally, unless it truly was a drop in visit, I’ve usually tidied up and it’s still a mess! My friends joke and say, “you should see my house, or if this is messy then…” And, for the most part I giggle and agree, but I do have those friends who always have their home drop in ready and they impress me with their ability to mother and have everything “together.”
The word together in itself is confusing, but often those who look “together” can be the most broken souls. I think there’s something so admirable about being able to be a strong woman and truly hold yourself during the toughest times. I was raised this way. I was raised to be tough. To not accept help from others. To achieve on my own. To owe no one anything. And, to love those who love you and remain loyal always. Many of these attributes are wonderful and great to have, but it wasn’t until adulthood that I realized the beauty in imperfection.
From now on I’ve decided to place all my coins in the bucket of time. I want to sit down and stare in Isla’s eyes. I want to go when Ailbe says “come, mama.” I want to swing on the swings with my girls, catch their tears, laugh at their laughs, wipe chocolate from their cheeks, splash in the sprinklers, build castles in the sand and simply soak in the beauty that is life’s daily imperfect wonders. To do so, I believe we as mothers have to stop caring about anything besides our children and their happiness.
Is your home sanitary?
Have your children eaten well?
Are you all safe and happy?
If so, I believe that you are a successful mother and you damn well better know it. We have to STOP putting so much pressure on ourselves as women, mothers, friends, sisters and wives. We have to revel in our natural beauty and our natural imperfections. I challenge you to put down the sticky pad list of “to dos” and instead make a list of “must dos” with your kids and get it done! Keep making lists, small or large but make your focus your own family and let no one take it down.
I am beautiful and I am imperfect.