Many things in life are taken for granted, I understand that. I do it myself at times too. But most days, I do try to live in the moment. I strive to soak up each day with my girls and strictly focus on what is happening right now. Consequently, I’ve had a few more late bills, missed appointments and forgotten plans but I have had my girls. All of them, and their moments that I will never get back.
We dance in the rain in our pajamas. We eat cookies for breakfast (when they’re fresh baked from Heather!). We watch movies together. We paint INSIDE. We make messes and try to hide them. We laugh. We dance. We cuddle. We pray together. We love one another.
For many years now I’ve heard other kiddos tell their mama that they loved them. It’s such an incredible thing to hear your child say to you. Some kids said it at 18 months, some said it as late as three but I’m fairly certain I’ve heard ALL of our friend’s children say “it.” This was definitely hard for me as I’ve waited so very long to hear those sweet words from Ailbe. In fact, I feared I would never hear them. One day, at an all time sad point for me, I saw a fellow IS parent post a video of her son saying “I love you.” I’ve never met this family but I played that video over and over again knowing how much that moment meant to their family. I played the video for my parents, husband and some friends and I said “see it can happen, it’s possible.” As time went on, and not much progress occurred I became sad about it. I would hear Ailbe say “mama” to another woman and I would think “guess that neurosurgeon is right.” I then realized that she often says “mama” when she needs help and of course she loves her mama (me) and knows I’m hers. Lately Ailbe has had a speech explosion! She is saying more and more new words daily and has been averaging about five new words a day. I could feel that it was going to happen soon!
Naturally, I’m sure you can all imagine the love that filled my heart this past weekend when I finally heard those sweet words I have waited 52 months to hear. Although it’s not super clear I can hear it and hope you all can too!
I am so very proud of you Ailbe, not only do you understand what love you means, you show me you love me as your mum in every little thing that you do. I love you my precious child.