Finding your voice as a blogger is often a challenge. All I ever think about it epilepsy, curing Ailbe an giving her the best life possible. Some days I feel robbed, betrayed and doomed. Other days I feel hopeful, energetic and optimistic! That may sound like the classic description of crazy but really it’s just the natural fears and worries of a mother. So, since I’m finding my voice I decided to write about the weather today. When in doubt… Talk about the weather.
Storm watch 2014 officially came to life this morning as SoCal was flooded with several inches of rain. We couldn’t step outside the door without raindrops falling on our heads. It was fun to see both Ailbe and Isla’s expressions as they watched the heavy rain fall. We rarely have heavy rain here in SoCal and as a result we have chaos when we do. Thankfully I didn’t have to brave the roads too much today as I only needed to drive to preschool and back with Ailbe. She kept looking out the window and saying “wa wa.” It was too cute!
While Bee was at school Isla and I enjoyed some fun together as we worked on stretching and improving her torticolis that is a result of a rough delivery (more on that later) and completely fixable just more of a bother and annoyance for her.
I forgot how much having a little baby by your side is like have a pet turtle. For some reason, a baby crawling just reminds me of a little creature. As they crawl along they pop their little heads up and check to see if you’re still there and needless to say I have the cutest little turtle.
She crawls along following me as I try to pick up the mess that is life with a very active little girl and a baby. As I frantically ran around trying for scrub, wash, chop, pack everything and anything I could get my hands on while big sis was at preschool I turned and saw that baby had stood up a step for the first time and I thought holy shit I just missed such a big first. What am I doing? Why is cleaning so important to me right now. Is a cleaner house, a better meal, a tidier room all more important that experiencing these firsts with my baby? The answer shouted out of my thoughts as a big NO! I immediately stopped what I was doing and praised Isla for her climbing and her strength and she greeted me with her oh so magical “I love you mama” smile.
To make the most of the rest of our time together just the two of us we went upstairs to goof around and have some fun. Isla has been a miracle and a blessing to our family all in one. She couldn’t have arrived at a more difficult or better time. She provides both the biggest challenges and purest feeling of love to me as her mother. I simply can’t explain what her smile and laugh do for me as well as what glimpses of the future these moments put in my thoughts.
I meant to post this a few days ago but little miss got a bad ear infection, I thought breast fed babies didn’t get those what gives?!?! Anyway she’s still smiling… When she’s not crying 🙈 more from me soon… For now an exhausted mama signing out.