The girls run around smiling, working together, and following coaches direction. The girls understand the directions, complete the requests, and execute the drills.
She smiles, she cries, she smiles, she cries. She is overwhelmed. She is confused. BUT, she’s trying,
I smile, I cry, I smile, I cry. I’m overwhelmed, I’m frustrated, BUT I’m trying. It’s hard to be -the- different- family. Everyone is beyond nice and we have, literally, the kindest coach on the planet, but, we stand out.
While the other kids play, my ten year old (almost 11 now) can’t decide if she likes this, or if it’s too much. Still, I gently push and encourage her to try. Just try. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you tried. We haven’t come this far with development and progress without having weathered through many trials.
Tonight I find myself wondering when this will get easier. We are grateful for all we have but so many things are quite the challenge. When will something just fall into Ailbe’s lap? Will her whole life be a challenge? Some days we are just tired, and want an easy day. Some days we can’t. And, that’s okay. We can try again another.
My heart swells with pride because I know. I know her, and I know just how much it takes for her to do this. Have you ever felt an intense uncomfortable fight or flight reaction, maybe during a panic attack or heightened stress situation? I think that’s how she feels when she tries something out of the norm. I think, she constantly feels a tug to just run away. I think, because I don’t know. She can’t tell me.
Despite the challenges, I’ll be there for her, rooting her on, tissues always at the ready. Unsure of which family member she will kick off the sidelines each time (she actually does this), I will be there.